SEPTEMBER

another month goes by, september's gonna end soon.
so many things happened all these while, i hate to be a grownup.

solo travel? im hooked.

its been weeks, that i came back from shanghai.

i gotta say its really an awesome trip, credits to pa and ma!

somehow they made it for me though i lied.

this was the first time ever i traveled to china, i really am amazed by the great cultural metropolis.

its not like you were traveling from a city to another big city, its something different.

and that feeling is so indescribable.

i guess someday i will be going back there, and live like a local again.

still though, i dont love shanghai.

dont ask me why, i dont wanna explain anymore

ohh one more thing, solo travel is sooo awesome!

im hooked.

move on

its been a week, since i'd celebrated the birthday.
seems like forever to me though.
people around me kept asking, so its your birthday, how do you feel about it?
well i feel old; old enough to care for everyone i loved, to take care of 'em.
but im just not wise enough to say it out, loud.

you know what, the moment when i saw the 2 candles that sparkled on the cake, i did realize that i really am 20 now!
i felt like crying in that very moment, for no reason
its like i was in emptiness, i doubted if i could move on.
still though, my girls were with me.
to me, they are the best pressies i ever had.

it takes a long time for me to get to know 'em, as from a stranger to a bff.
i gotta admit, the lady here is never a people person.
she keeps distance with everyone, there is always a wall between you and her.
anyhow they just broke the wall and made no distance.
they are really adorable, arent they?

of course, lotsa thanks to mummy and daddy.
because of them, i am here in this world.
hmm they still make a good parent after all these years
i guess that wouldnt be easy for them, to come through everything in their marriage.
and their once crybaby daughter is now a big girl,
the big girl that they can be so proud of...



you cant miss what you didnt have.
just move on, that is all you can do now.

thank you, mum and dad.

im gonna jump start my twenties in another 2 days.
how soon, you aint a naive teenager anymore.
so i made an impetuous decision in the earlier of june.
hey pals, im going to travel to shanghai in the end of july!
solo travel, in frank.
credits to daddy for my flights, i guess that would be the best present i ever had from him!
of course, credits to mummy too, she wants to sponsor some of my expenses.
still though, i would never tell 'em that it is a solo travel.
they gonna kill me for doing this alone!
anyway, thanks to dad and mum for doing these for me.

yeah you just knocked me down, once again.

i am disappointed.
life's a real bitch!
why does it keep on to knock me down just when i think things could get better?
i shouldnt have cared too much, its not like i have feelings or anything.
till then i dont have a role.

a break

i'd watched this movie recently, ONE WEEK.
a very philosophical movie.
this terminally ill man, Ben decides to take a motorcycle trip instead of receive medical treatment.
and along the way he starts to reevaluate his life and learn to appreciate it.

i think im kind of figure out what's life.
my life, to be exact.
and i started to fall for it though its a long journey.
for the moment, i just need a break.
a break from everything to find my inner self.
i'll be coming back, sooner or later.

what would you do if you knew you only have one day or one week or one month to live?

now what?

sem 5 is done with my final presentation on this tuesday.
as for the presentation, it was pretty good.
glad that the guest crits like my so-called BUDDHIST TEMPLE.
still though, i am overwhelming with disappointment, for no reason.
deepdown i feel that something is gone, been trying hard to figure it out.
you know what, tadao ando once said you can find your dreams in architecture.
i think i lost my dream in architecture per contra.
now, i guess i need a self-help book,
and maybe a deep contemplation as well.

what is life?
can you figure it out for me?

egoist

i've been clouded with my uncontrollable thoughts,
and maybe uncertainties as well.
deep down i desperately need someone to talk to,
i rarely talk to anyone though, not even my besties.
guess that egoism is playing its part inside of me.
selene said i'd assumed everything, and she was right.
im such an egoist, dont i?


can anyone out there lead me guide me along the way?
im lost in whereabouts.

hard time

i guess im having my hard time recently.
the studio is overwhelm me with misery and depression.
i couldnt help with my passivity.
truth be told, i cant embrace any failure anymore.
i just cant.
i'll be collapsed, absolutely.

psycho bitch

i have an urge to blog right now.
still though i dont know what to blog, how hilarious.
oh yea the point is im terrified.
been thinking not to continue architecture after my diploma,
things that happened recently made me even more steadfast to my decision.
guess that i just not that passionate about architecture after all
well i gotta admit that life's a psycho bitch!

not good at all

today is not good at all.
ahhh i missed my stupid history online quiz
and there gone my another 5marks
sum up with the previous quiz i'd lost 10 marks.
10 marks!
thats a lot weh, im so wanna cry now.
worse comes to worst,
i wasnt able to take the quiz for xixu either, how pathetic.
okay thats it.
i shall go eat something now.

contradiction

so its march now, tension of opposites on its way.
things are not getting better, aren't they?
soon after i'll be graduated from college with my diploma
yet im totally at a loss, i dont know what's next
to be exact, im not sure if there is next
this is so contradictory;
part of me is scared of leaving college, part of me wants to go desperately
i wonder what the big world will be like out there
dont you think that its so appealing to go and see the big world?

move on

no matter how much she misses him, it had to be ended now.
23rd Feb, it was his birthday and the day that i wrapped up all the feelings
as human being, we all have our fragile moments from time to time
i guess i am again, going through my very own fragile moment
no worries this time i bet it will be passed quickly
just that the awkwardness is still playing its part, for a period..
anyway MOVE ON!
yeah its you, i mean you!
MOVE ON, MOVE ON!

she misses him

how strange, its almost been a year.
and now he has a loved one, i got no one
truth be told, she misses him, a lot.

love 'em

its been a nice day huh?
i guess so, nothing much to say though
you know, someday i wish that people i care about actually know it.
i love 'em so much, i really do.

its a typical sunday

ohh what a typical day!
its the first day of CNY and of course valentine's day
but for those single people like me: today should be the single awareness day
anyhow im not that desperate for a valentine, maybe once in awhile i was.
have a nice day.

have fun

thing happens and changes;
sometimes it doesnt need a reason.
so here comes the february, how's life?
assignments, lectures, tutorials are parts of my life now
and hell yeah i am damn stressing but i just couldnt walk away from these things
i dont have a choice, aint i?
guess i'll be having one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of life for the rest of february
still, have fun.

wild plans

wild plans on the run.
wish that i could make it works this time, i seriously need to unwind
admittedly i was somehow disappointed of what they had done
the question now is, where to unwind?
oh yeah, i need hell lot of money as well
wish me luck then

wild thoughts

there are some wild thoughts keep on lingering in my mind.
his words are so tempted to me, i really had an urge to say i'd do that for him, maybe.
and since that moment i realized that i do really wanted a family deepdown in my heart
getting married with your loved one and ready to get pregnant for him, its not a bad idea after all
i just dont know if its his words or himself worked on me.
still, i personally wish that its him.

life

time continued to move fast.
february is already on its way
again, we all'd been through a lot in life
selene and i, we are one step closer to the graduation
yet we both knew that we are not ready for another stage of life
once upon a time we didnt really give it a damn, we thought that was too far away from us
there was this day, she asked me 'bout my plan after the diploma
i was speechless at the moment, because nothing crossed my mind
i know all her worries but this time i just couldnt assure her that everything's gonna be just fine
still though i'll back her up no matter what.
sometimes life's a bitch ehh?

that is all

i couldnt get over after all.
so this time im letting him back to my life, we are still friends.
that is all.
as for now, im gonna work hard
and this time, im up for my future .

once upon a time i didnt give it a damn.

beginning

Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing.

i know it's abit late but who cares, happy new year!
time flies, its new year again.
i didnt even get a chance to go through my trip down memory lane thoroughly
2009 was not that terrible though, at least i had some memorable moments with my loved ones and of course, my BFF.
they really made my day, i love 'em.
and right before the new year i got to meet up with old friends, it was great and i felt like the bond between us still existing even though everyone's keep on changing
well time changes people, isnt it?

alright, time to talk about new year's resolution.
i had seven resolutions in '09, kinda greedy huh
anyway im not going to recycle my resolutions
i dont want to be the old me anymore, always that aimless
im gonna find myself a goal, a goal for my life, a goal to be achieved
its gonna be a new beginning.