no friends, no fun, no life

gosh, mishaps and i are seems like seeing each other recently
im having an aimless and stuffy life right now
guess it will only end on july
im seriously aimless apart from looking forward for the oncoming 19th anniversary
and there come the mishaps
i am sooooooo sick of them!
wonder if when can i go for the vacation
been longing for it since the last pangkor trip
i really am wanting to run away from my miserable life for a while
no friends, no fun, no life
thats what left on me

left out

helo my small lil corner, im back again.
sorry for dumping you all these days.
just that you know i was a lil bit tied up, with my damn final project.
alright, it's done on this monday and i'd been scrutinized like hell.
by the way, what's done is done.
so lets pray hard for me, amen.
after the final project, sem 3 is done as well, time flies.
taken a glimpse on mr W that day when we were in the studio, i felt he's so different and strange to me.
i cant tell why did i feel left out recently.
maybe its not recently, its been quite a year.
i knew things were changed, especially the friendships between me and my besties.
yet i still persist and convinced myself everything's still alright, you're just too sentimental, too sensitive..
the consequences can be seen clearly though, i keep on overwhelming with disappointment
i always asking myself what am i to them?
a friend or just some sort of things?
a thing that they will think of whenever they need something from it?
i really feel so left out.

the sentimental girl

it's me again.
just found that this is the only way or maybe the only 'one' i can tell what i feel, what i think and whatever stucked in my mind
im not like selene, im not like cemon, im not like any of my besties, whom used to tell about their feelings or whatever with them
i dont used to talk, as in talk about my very own feelings
maybe there was once i learned to tell about it but i failed
im a sentimental girl
no one knows that i get melancholy easily
i used to cry in the corner
i care about so many things yet i just have to pretend that i dont give a damn at all
i wonder if i can find anyone who could get into my life?
even my besties cant make it afterall
pls stop letting me down, i really feel so alone

im not the lucky one

to my dearest blog, i found you!
im back.
so there's still nobody found me
am i happy with this?
well, i have no idea actually
time flies, sem 3 is going to be done soon
am not that happy with this cause that means i'll be more and more miserable
really dont know if i had made the right decision
anyway, i'll try my best to make things work

you know, mr.W came and asked me a FUNNY question the day before yesterday
it did freak me out
he asked 'WHAT DO YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ME?'
guess what did i answer him
i said he's kind and humorous
and cute..
i was on the verge of telling him being kind is just more than enough to me, i like his kindness
of course i didnt say so
told cemon about the whole story after that
and she thought that mr.W is quite into me
whoa, i think that's impossible
life isnt that perfect, sometimes we just cant have the things we want most
that's the rule and i really dont think that exception will happen on me
im not the lucky one after all

would you be there?

if i am away, would you still think of me?

let me tell you a story.
there was once a girl's been told by her bestest friend that she dont need to be so tough, bestest friend would be there for her no matter what.
but later on the girl realized that no one else would remember her, even the bestest friend would not remember her...
the feeling of being abandoned is overwhelmed her AGAIN.
what have the girl done to deserve this?
to be neglected, to be forgot..